Sunday this past week was a dark day for me. Despite being around beautiful people in a healing space, I found myself slipping into worry, anxiety, and victimhood. Why is my life a mess?! How am I ever going to make it?! Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing?? Have I made a wrong choice or a wrong turn? I should just lay down in my bed and give up! Chatter, chatter, so much negative mind chatter!
On the subway ride home, I allowed myself to fully lean into and wallow in my self-pity, wounded-heart state. I put on some music to fit the mood, popped in my earbuds, and fully FELT my despair in the middle of a crowded public subway car. When I got home, I was reminded, as I cooked myself up some grub, that when I don't take care of my body by getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, and moving my body to get out of my damn head, I feel depleted, apathetic, and negative. (I wonder how many times I will have to fall into that hole before I remember that lesson…)
Later that night, I was gifted an uplifting conversation with my brother about his new mindset mantra, which provided a shift for me. He was sharing that when he got off the subway earlier that day after being engrossed in a fiction book, he had felt like he had not actually been on the subway, but had instead traveled miles away to a different and new time and place. He felt alive and reinvigorated as he he approached the rest of his day! And he wondered how he could carry this sense of aliveness and adventure into his current reality. He decided to engage in a quest for zest!
So….. Monday morning brought my bounce back to my step. I woke up with a new lightness and optimism that a good night's rest and a fresh mindset brings. The search for zest. Feeling the pavement under my feet. Appreciating the fresh breeze caressing my cheek. The joy of finding a bright penny on the sidewalk. The glee from imagining my high priestess crown glittering on the top of my head when skipping past my reflection in a shop window. Walking the puppy in the rain while belting out Christmas tunes in a Gene Kelly-esque way. Strolling through a bundle of fir trees for sale and taking a deep inhale of glorious pine scent. Simple pleasures that make life feel alive. Feel zesty.
And with that I've decided this December I am going to invite myself (and you!) to find the zest in the every day experiences. Especially the kind of zest that exists in self care and tender-heartedness. Like crawling into comfy, warm sheets early because I'm tired. Or taking a moment to sit in meditation because it brings me out of my worrying head and into my intuitive body. It seems very synchronistic that the very day (December 1st!) I engaged in this quest, I also saw the 31 day challenge to #finishwithheart2014 on Instagram, inspiring me to not let the last month of the year fall away, but to really seize the time I have and finish out strong. With heart. Yes. Yes, oh yes. Let's do this!
Love, light, heart, and zest to you!