Yesterday, I returned home from a weekend on a mountain in the Berkshires and, whilst I'm still basking in the glow, I have been struggling to put the magical time into words. I realize an experience like that is one of those "I guess you had to be there" experiences and, yet, I feel like paying tribute to it is important.
Going into the weekend, I was confronting a lot of fear. During the opening yoga session, I could feel myself slipping into anxiety…. "Did I pack the right clothes? Will any of the women like me? I should've practiced more yoga and meditation before coming. What if no one is interested in my booth at the fair? I should've gone shopping for new yoga pants! A cabin with no electricity?! What if it's crawling with SPIDERS?! I am stuck here for four days with no way off the mountain….Am I going to be able to survive this weekend?!?!"
The beauty of "retreating" is that as I settled into the safe, sacred, judgement free space created by the group of women (who were probably also confronting their own fears), I started to quiet that inner critic mind, began to travel within, and allowed the voice of my inner wisdom to come forth. Surrendering to each moment on the mountain, I felt cradled and rooted into Mama Earth, inspired and guided by Divine Moon, nurtured and loved up by my new tribe of wild women. Setting intentions in circle the first night, I decided to allow The Unfolding, whatever that meant.
And as the weekend passed, there was unplugging, dancing, crying, laughing, singing, stretching, moving, searching, quieting, hugging, twirling, creating, bonfire-ing, eating, chatting, chocolate-devouring, resting, sharing, sleeping, dreaming, filling, releasing, discovering, connecting, nurturing, nourishing, healing.
By the end, my heart and womb had been replenished with breath, energy, and deep love from a collective of women, from nature, and, perhaps most importantly, from myself. As I had intended in my previous blog post, I jumped into the abyss and found my net. And what a beautiful thing that is.
And it is my wish and blessing that everyone have the opportunity once in a while to retreat in a safe and sacred space where their inner wild be let loose, honored, and surrounded by love.