At The Edge Of A Grief Portal
…and the importance of sharing our stories.
Back in July, within the span of a few days, I learned that Isabel and Jacob were going to be saying goodbye to their Simon, our favorite local wet dog food store was going to be closing (they have since reopened under a new format), and a fellow healing practitioner in the twin cities posted a beautiful tribute on the socials to the untimely passing of her kitty.
The only constant in life is change and I never thought I’d be grieving over a dog and kitty I only ever met through the internet, but that’s exactly where I found myself.
New grief, ambiguous grief, anticipatory grief, a long-held-past-but-very-much-alive grief… all grief has a place and needs a space.
I’ve been sitting with the reflection that I’m at the edge of a grief portal myself.
My bestest, goodest boy will be thirteen in December and as walks have slowed down, routines have changed, and I keep counting the new handsomest grey hairs, I know time in the physical realm is finite and I’m savoring every single minute of it.
There’s something about animals in particular that tugs my heart more than other things and I think part of it is what Portia wrote in her tribute to her kitty about how: “Our animal fam teach us so much about love, life, and death. They are all masters. Their love is so simple and direct.”
*
*
And if you don’t follow @simonsits on Instagram, a little backstory: Isabel and her dog Simon were the perfect fostering pair. I first discovered them back in May of this year when the two of them helped rehabilitate the CUTEST dog named Tiki, who was severely shut-down and terrified of everything, but grew into a brave boy with the right amount of love and care. Ever since then, I’ve loved watching them take fosters in and help them find their new forever homes, also with the help of Isabel’s then fiance (now hubs!) Jacob.
Not to go on and on about some strangers on the internet, BUT the thing that moved me the most about this little family was how thoughtful they were about sharing the fostering journey, Simon’s own medical struggles with epilepsy and recent cancer, and how they let all of us viewers in to see how they celebrated Simon’s last days when they realized it was time for the hardest goodbye.
*
*
Since this stretch of days back in July, other friends and family have lost their furry familiars, family members, friends, places,
Witnessing strangers and friends walking their own endings and goodbyes has reaffirmed for me the importance of sharing our stories with each other.
So that when we go through our own heartbreak and hard times, we know we aren’t alone and maybe there’s even a little roadmap of how we might navigate it when we find ourselves there.
Of course, not everyone wants to be as public as Isabel was with her Simon (I’m pretty sure I won’t be posting videos!), but I’m grateful she was. I know her story has impacted how I hold my golden moments with my Moonie.
*
*
So my wish for us, especially this autumn when it’s the season of grief and the veil is thin: let’s keep telling our stories in whichever ways feel inspiring, healing, necessary, sweet. May we keep saying the names of those we’ve loved and lost in order to feel them with us still. May we witness each other’s hearts in this journey of life. May we enjoy it while we are here.
JOURNAL PROMPT:
- with the leaves falling and blooms fading, what are you being called to shed and release?
- where does your body, mind, heart, spirit need more rest and stillness?
- what lessons from summer are you carrying with you into the fall and winter?
- how would your heart like to be nourished this season?
SONG FOR FALL (as the sun is setting earlier every day!): Spotify: Sun In Your Heart by John Pattern & Ram Dass
YouTube: Sun In Your Heart by John Pattern & Ram Dass