Warm Heart Gratitude

fall leaves, cool breeze
warm heart to a Thanksgiving start #gratitude #evermorethanks

With the anticipation growing for the Macy Day Parade naps (a family tradish) and my brother's vegan pumpkin pie (get the recipe he found here - the gluten free crust tis amazingly delish!) as the Thanksgiving holiday approaches, I can feel my heart swell with gratitude for so many things in my life, but especially for my community of support.

I took a giant leap of faith this year.  Jumping into the world of entrepreneurship by quitting my day job has been scaring and thrilling.  Being public with my writing, my struggles, my triumphs, and my discoveries has been a growing process of being more comfortable sharing my authentic self with the world and taking up more space.

The past two years I have been on an introspective, inwards spiritual journey of discovering more deeply who I am and what I'm about.  This growing period can be quite isolating!  As I feel myself emerging and unfolding from this cocoon over the last several months, I am realizing the power and grace that comes from connecting with my soul-mates.  Attending and leading circles, I have seen intentions manifest, tears shed, dreams come true, and love of self and others abound.  Participating in self-healing and self-discovery workshops, I have witnessed, felt, and held a depth and beauty of allowing and being ourselves exactly as we are. 

"What seems unbearable in isolation may become tolerable with the support of shared experiences." - Tami Lynn Kent, Wild Feminine

Thank you for being here with me.  

Every post you "like" and blog you read is so much appreciated.  Wanting to make my life's work be of service to humanity has taught me that I need your light as much as the world needs my light.  We are connected.  We are one beating heart of the world.  Together we can experience the joys and the pains of being human.

"Shared joy is double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow." -Swedish Proverb

Evermore thanks for being a part of my journey and I am so honored to be a part of yours.  
From my warm heart to yours… xo!

Sweet Soul Rising

"Be encouraged at the New Moon, and breathe in the spirit of Sagittarius - let it revive your weary soul, and bring the twinkle back to your eyes….the jovial heart of the archer is restless for inspiration, friendship, and love…" - Molly Hall, MysticMamma

This month, the new moon is in my sign
Sagittarius
So it feels like coming home

Expansive
Freedom-loving
Truth-seeking
Enthusiasm

Sit for a moment with me
Light a candle
Deep breaths
Feeling the heavens and earth on opposite ends of the spine
Connected to soul light above
Grounded to root below

Hands on heart
What emotions are there?
Is there anything coming up for you now that your heart wants you to hear?

Breathe in love
Breathe out fear
Inhale gratitude
Exhale resistance

In this place of presence
Of stillness
Of quite
And of gentleness and tenderness for self
Ask that inner knowing, that inner voice who knows your truth...

"What gleeful new beginning will bring expansion and freedom to my life now?
What would I do if I were fearless?
Sweet soul rising, what can I do this cycle to make my spirit sing?"

And with the energy of the New Moon supporting intentions
Let's join our hearts together
To rise and expand

"The Sagittarius New Moon message is to create your future from the power of your vision… Your creative self-expression comes from your magical inner child.  Your inner child is your dazzling soul.  Empower your soul." -Kelley Rosano, MysticMamma

The Choice to Change

Being in the business of change, transformation, and healing, I've done a lot of reading on motivation.  It's easy to read copious amounts of information on healthy habits, but it can be more difficult to put it into place.  At the end of the day, we know deep down inside our bodies what is good for us and what we need, but putting that into action is another story.  I'm sure we all know that it's better to eat veggies over candy, drinking water is a key component to health, and getting enough sleep a night is essential.  Getting into the routine of doing those things can be so hard when the holidays tempt us with festive treats, coffee and alcohol taste more fun, and the internets are just waiting to be explored into the wee hours of the night!

So I've been doing a lot of thinking about how to motivate making healthier choices.  Going back over my own history, I realized that no matter how much you read or what people tell you, YOU have to WANT it.  You have to want it more than you want to stay right where you are.  Want it enough to go through the potential discomfort of consciously making change until it becomes a habitual lifestyle (and then there's always temptations to bust through on a daily basis!  Oh life, you rascal you!). I read a brilliant, empowering article recently by healer Erin Telford and she writes:

"Everything and all things are available.  We are afraid of and resist change because it means that we will need to make different choices and take different action.  When you change your way of being, you can get push back on the new you. 

True transformation in any area of your life can only happen at the level of commitment that you have to wanting the change.  When your mindset is aligned with growth, you know that every step forward is solidifying the foundation for a stronger, healthier-on-all-levels You!  Sometimes you need to hit a breaking point in your health to be able to push back and say enough! "

(To read her full post on Do You Believe You Can Change, get it here!  It's a good read!)

Two moments from my own life, I would like to share with you:

Moment one: when I was back in college and very overweight, I would drink 2-3 diet cokes everyday.  I remember being at home and one of my siblings brought up how unhealthy that habit was in a "mini-interventional" type moment (among other habits I was involved in…like eating too many sweets...) and I got so upset!  Having a mirror put up in front of me caused anger, tears, and defensiveness (despite the fact that the intervention was only out of love for me).  I wasn't ready to hear it or to face what I was seeing in this mirror. 

About a year later, I stopped drinking soda regularly.  On my own timing, I finally made a change.

Moment two: at my doctor's appointments back during my rebel stage of not taking care of myself, hearing the litany of complications in attempts to almost scare me into obedience was a regular doctor visit occurrence.  Then, at one appointment, the nurse practitioner asked me if I just wanted to take a break from my diabetes.  How many months did I want to just let everything go, before I could get back on the bandwagon?  I was SHOCKED that he was giving me permission to not make any healthy changes!  Instead of being shamed about being "bad", he was validating that taking care of diabetes is a hard, LIFE-long task.  I thought about it quietly for a moment, considering my options, and then said I was ready to take responsibility again.  That very day.  What I needed, perhaps, was to be given the CHOICE to CHANGE.  

So, dear star-beings, I am here to hold space for you wherever you are at in your process.  If you need to take a moment to indulge in a rebel-stage of your own, I am here for you!  Take it!  Allow yourself, without guilt or shame, to be exactly where you are!  Enjoy it, knowing that you have the power and choice to change directions whenever you are ready.

If you are at the point where you feel ready to take the step to make some changes in your life, I am also here for you!  If you have hit your breaking point and are saying "enough!", I am cheering you on and ready to provide loving support, guidance, tips, and inspiration, as it can be difficult and exhilarating at the same time.  

The beauty in all of this is that we have choice.  We don't have to stay stuck in old habits, behaviors, or programs that are no longer serving us.  And it's up to us.  It's our decision.  How empowering!

Fear of Joy

For anyone who knows me, I have a pretty high happiness threshold.  Meaning that my happiness manifests itself easily, quickly, and in a "squeal-out-loud" kind of bubbly glee.  So knowing this about myself and the childlike joy and awe I carry, I was surprised to discover this week that I also have a FEAR of joy.

I made this realization when I was going to work at the healing center I recently started working for.  There was the possibility that I was going to need to give up my Monday shift there for another type of work and I didn't notice how depressed (and stressed) that was making my body feel until a friend pointed it out.  Having someone else see that in me suddenly gave me the permission to feel how happy working at the center made me.  So, this Monday, while walking from the subway to the center, I intended to hold space for my happiness.  And it felt so INCREDIBLE to let the joy (and the subsequent gratitude) free flow and fill my entire body!  Bliss!

I feel like this is a great depiction of how my joy feels.  Yes!  Expansive, song-filled joy!

I think this goes back to one of the core mindset shifts I am working on right now: valuing myself.  I am worthy of this kind of happiness.  I am enough for this type of joy.  Old programs I am trying to let go of are the thoughts that work has to be hard and unpleasant and draining.  Sometimes there's a fear that if I allow myself to fully enjoy what I love, in terms of work, that somehow it will be taken away.  There's a scene in the Sex in the City movie (yes, I am a sucker for chick flicks….they make my happiness threshold barometer go: BOOOOOING!)  that relates to this: the character Charlotte is afraid to go running (despite being an avid, regular runner) after finding out that she's pregnant because everything is going so well in her life.  She feels so happy that she's afraid something bad is going to happen right around the corner because all of her other gals are going through some shitty stuff that she holds herself back from doing what she loves.  

Huh.  How bogus is that?!  (And yet, how many of us do this to ourselves, myself included?)  While bracing ourselves for the next hardship and struggle, we often forget to allow ourselves to fully revel in our joy and bliss.  Of course, life has it's ups and downs.  By focusing on future fears of the "downs", we negate our "ups".  Which returns us to the power of being in the moment (isn't the lesson always about being here NOW… so easy to say but hard to do!)  Being in this emotion.  This circumstance.  This moment.  This breath.  Now.  And now.  And now.  And then valuing ourselves.  Now.  Because we are enough right now as we are.

“When you see joy beside the agony, you have the keen vision of a soul warrior.”

— Danielle LaPorte

Point(s) to ponder: where are you right now?  What emotions are coming up for you?  What fills you with complete joy?  Do you allow yourself to own this joy?  If not, can you in this moment right now?  And now?  And now?

Light and love!!