Sisterhood in Breath

Image: Sisterhood of the Divine Feminine by Lila Violet

Image: Sisterhood of the Divine Feminine by Lila Violet

I found myself again
in a familiar cozy room
surrounded by a huge group of women
each taking time
to go inward
to let go of what brings fear
to call in our greatness and our desires
unique intentions for each
and yet, the same, as they resonated deep
for me, releasing scarcity and unworthiness
filling up with abundance of self love

in what felt like a sacred slumber party
yoga blankets and pillows
lying on our backs in a soft dark room
we began to breathe together
belly, heart, open mouth
as one
holding each other up in rhythm and support
belly, heart, open mouth

feeling a block of energy
a tightness, a tension
rise from my root
through my second chakra
belly, heart, open mouth
solar plexus and torso
up to the heart center
belly, heart, open mouth
"just breathe"
throat and jaw
"I surrender, please move through me"
forehead and 6th chakra
belly, heart, open mouth
I could feel the center of my intuition open
tears slipped out 
for all the times I felt weird or hid my light out of fear

and with a yell, I broke free
tightness and tension dissolved
to the pure energy of my power, brilliance, and true self
surging through my body from head to toe
I am here
hands and heart open to receive 
this is me when I allow myself to be
I am choosing to give myself permission to take up glorious space in this life
joy, pure joy and warm bliss
for finally allowing and claiming my birthright

then, hearing another sister's yell in the room
I felt the urge to join her
and continued to shout, scream, rumble
as grief, pain, fear, shame, guilt
for all women
swept through my body

for my grandma
for my mom
for my sister
for my aunts, cousins, friends
for my ancestors who came before me
for women in other countries
who I don't even know
but in that moment
felt connected like blood family

and I sobbed
I wept
for the violence, oppression, rape, devaluing
for the times we've made ourselves small or felt unimportant
for the times when we have hated our bodies and distrusted our wisdom

and then I felt Mother Earth beneath me
my roots became her roots
and I cried for all the ways we've ravaged her
when all she does is rise to meet us
with stability and beauty and grace

but this story isn't all about pain
after purging all that
grief, pain, fear, shame, guilt
I began to sing
first from my heart
one long light note
and then from my womb
one deep tone vibrating in my feminine center
and finally, as soft and sweet as a bird
as we broke free
belly, heart, open mouth

lying in quiet savasana
returing to normal breathing
present in my beautiful  body
I heard a voice when I asked what I can do to serve?
"Just heal yourself, Helen.
Not because you are broken.
But because you are whole."

in that moment
feeling the women of the world
linked arm in arm
my ancestors and a wise woman at my back
brave, breathing women around me in the room
I saw the abundance of Pachumama 
in a big solid tree with roots that run deep
in a wave of the ocean
shimmering in a multicolored rich sunset
in a leaping fire dancing with me next to it
moving my body in the rhythm of my own wild, fiery spirit
with no inhibitions or self consciousness
only a deep love for all beings and sweet sensuality for being alive

realizing we are all connected
we are all one
WE are the WHOLE
and I can be a voice for the whole
I will scream for you
wail for you
sing for you

and for me

as we break free