Tips for Listening to Your Body

Image: artist unknown

This Saturday, March 14th, will be the 15th anniversary of being diagnosed with diabetes.  Per usual around this time of year, the approaching day has me reflecting on living life with a disease and how it has impacted my life.  I can say the gift diabetes has given me is how it has taught me to be in tune with my body.  In my mind, it seems like having “control” of type 1 diabetes is much like walking a tight rope.  A very fine line, balancing act.  Blood sugars are a little too high and you’re tired, lethargic, and harming your organs.  Let your blood sugars get too low and you get shaky, sweaty, and tunnel vision that makes you want to eat the house down.  Being able to feel the slightest change in my equilibrium is important. Food, sleep, exercise, hormones, stress… pretty much everything about life is a variable to influencing shifts in sugar numbers.

 Zooming out from this scenario in my life to the bigger, universal story of humanity, it seems most of us are in this quest for balance.  Career, family, spirituality, social life, health, fitness, finances, creativity…. How do we do it and can we have it all?  There’s a lot of talk about balance as if it were something we finally achieve once and then we have it forever.  But like living with diabetes, living a fulfilled life is about balance-ing.  It’s an ongoing practice.  

 In my healing practice, I work with clients to create structures and habits to support the practice of balancing all the passions they have in their life and one of the key tools is learning to listen to the body.  Your body has wisdom and the ability to heal itself given the chance.  She knows what she needs.  He can guide you to what’s working and what’s not.  When we don’t listen to our body, she or he will try to get our attention, typically with emotions first and then with physical ailments, if we don’t create the space for change and realignment.  So without the “built in barometer” of a disease like diabetes to give a crash coarse in the balancing act, how does one learn to listen, or as I like to say, come home to the body?  Here are five tips I’ve found valuable:

1) Slow down and quiet.
Constantly being surrounded by electronic devices and the distractions of busyness we tend to get ourselves into, we need to find ways to consciously give ourselves time to go inward.  With so much stimulation around us, it can be hard to just sit and be!  But in the quiet and the calm is where the answers lie.  Some suggestions: meditate, eat your meals mindfully without the TV on or scrolling through social media on your phone or reading blogs on the computer, set your alarm for the middle of your day and take ten conscious deep breaths, attend circles or healing workshops, schedule in time on your calendar each week to do something that brings you joy and peace (even if you have to get a babysitter!), start aligning to the cycles of nature (hibernate in the winter, rest when you are on your moon cycle).

2) Journal.
When I was young, I could never keep a diary because after one day of trying to write step by step what I did that day I was bored to tears.  Now, however, my journal is one of my best healing partners and guides.  Allow yourself to be creative here.  Maybe you just let stream of consciousness flow.  Maybe you start with a gratitude list just to get the pen on paper.  Maybe you write about a dream you had or a situation that happened recently you need to get off your chest.  This is for you to tune in to what’s going on in the deepest part of you.  Some suggestions of prompts to get started: what is new and good in my life right now?  What would I like to see changed?  What am I ready to let go of that’s been holding me back?  What am I feeling in this moment now and where do I feel it in my body?  How can I be more supportive and loving to myself?

3)  Ground into your body.
It’s so easy to get caught up and spend most of our time in our minds.  While our mental capacity is a beautiful, intelligent, essential part of our being that allows us to ponder, analyze, strategize, plan, we also sometimes get caught up in chatter and judgment that isn’t helpful.  We get caught up in worry circuits and old thought programs that no longer serve us.  We get disconnected from our body.  Getting back into the body and grounding to the earth will allow inspiration to come and be able to listen to what’s coming up for you with more ease.  Some suggestions: go outside into nature, exercise, eat root veggies, participate in an activity like shoot hoops or play golf, paint, dance, take a yoga class, get some bodywork/energy healing/acupuncture/massage, sing.  Water can also be grounding so take a shower, wash the dishes, go to your favorite river, lake, stream, ocean view.  

 4)  Foster self-love with self-care.
Ultimately, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.  By taking time to care for yourself in loving, gentle, and attentive ways, you hold the space for this relationship with you to become intimate and deep in understanding, compassion, and growth.  Self-care is not selfish (you need to fill up your cup so you can live your purpose and give care to others!), so splurge here and really love yourself up.  Suggestions: take a hot salt bath, get enough sleep, cook your favorite meal, slather your skin with the best lotion, get a mani/pedi, say 'yes' when you want to say 'yes', say 'no' when you want to say 'no', get some bodywork/energy healing/acupuncture/massage, do things that bring you pleasure and enjoyment.

 5)  Trust yourself.
When it comes to listening to your body, you know you best.  You’ve been living with yourself longer than with anyone else.  The more you listen and respond in kind, the more clear and strong your body will communicate with you.  Two things about this:
*Honor your individuality.  What’s true for someone else may not be true for you.  Gathering information and resources is always helpful, but at the end of the day, sit with it to see what resonates most for you.  Then try that on for size, trusting the feedback your body will give you.
*Self-trust can be a muscle we have to build.  If we are constantly saying we are going to do something and consistently don’t do it, then we won’t really believe ourselves, will we?  Let’s stop breaking the promises we make to ourselves – they are just as important as the promises we make to others.  So start small:  Today, I’m going to drink one glass of water.  Today I’m going to tell myself in the mirror that I love myself just as I am.  And then DO it!  Set small promises you know you can keep so you can build up that trust for even bigger things:  Today I’m going to launch that new program.  Today I am going to rock that audition.  Today I am going to trust that intuitive thought my body gave me and I’m going to act on it. 

 
There are many ways and opportunities to come home to our bodies and the beauty is we don’t have to be perfect.  It’s a practice and a process.  It’s a journey.  It's a balancing.  Day by day.  Moment by moment.  This breath and this breath.  Sometimes we fall one way and sometimes we fall off the other side.  And sometimes, we walk that rope of life with ease and grace.  This Saturday, I’m going to celebrate my diabetes by honoring my body's wisdom and love her up with gratitude for all she is.  

Point to ponder: I'd love to hear from you!  What tools or tips have you found useful to listen to your body?  And what techniques do you have to bring balance to your life?  Leave a comment!  

March Forth: #onward

In honor of March 4th (march forth!), a post about how I'm moving #onward:

Confession: I took about two months off from working out in November and December because I couldn't afford my gym membership.  Quitting my fulltime job while trying to get my business off the ground brought a period of time where funds were lacking.  It's embarrassing for me to admit that, especially as a health coach in the healing arts, because I find it ESSENTIAL that I walk my talk.  But I told myself in writing this blog post that I'm all about holding space for exactly how we are right now… perfectly imperfect…. and that includes me too.  So I’m showing up real and honest here.

When I returned from my hiatus in mid-January, I had lost a LOT of my strength that I had steadily built up over the past year.  So much loss that even a deload week felt super difficult.  Like I had to start all over at the beginning.  Initially, this made me frustrated, angry, and disappointed with myself.  My trainer and my man both comforted me with the encouragement that I will build back up to where I was in no time and move beyond my last threshold because I know now what's possible.

As I have returned to religiously getting in my workouts each week (makin' exercise a non-negotiable in my schedy, yo!), I realize the lesson in this experience and that it’s still okay to feel frustrated about it.  I didn't lose my love of lifting.  I didn't forget my form.  I didn't lose my confidence of stepping into the male-dominated weight room (something I had to build up when I first started out).  I didn't even pack on the pounds and gain all the weight back that I had lost.  When I first got into working out on a specific lifting program, I was almost obsessive about it.  Not wanting to ever miss one day on my program, even when on vacation or traveling!  I think this was imperative for me, in the beginning, in order to create exercise habits that have become natural in my lifestyle.

 And here's the thing!  The lesson I've learned!  Exercise and lifting weights will always be a huge and important part of my life.  I decided a long time ago that I love myself and my body so much that moving it is something I'm dedicating to for a LIFETIME.  Lifting weights and moving my body til I'm old, wise, and grey.  So, I missed some workouts.  A few blips, dips, and slow periods in my relationship with Gym (read about this in a previous post here if you missed it!).  Rather than beating myself up over the fact that I had a few months off, I can acknowledge how that felt to be stagnant and then move onward.  Brush myself off after falling off the wagon (with gentleness and tenderness rather than self-critical judgment and guilt) and jump right back on with new vigor and enthusiasm.  Cause I'm in it for the long haul.  For life.

There may be other periods of my life where this might happen again…. where I'll need to take a break from the regularly scheduled program.  And I can allow that to happen with understanding and ease rather than shame and guilt, knowing that, in my timing, I will be ready to march forth.  

Point to ponder: what healthy habit have you taken a hiatus from in your life that you are ready to re-instate as routine?  It happens to the best of us (and even to us coaches!), but doesn't mean we have to give it up forever.  In what ways are you ready to pick up where you left off?  Onward brilliant ones!

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To the Tender Hearts

We are stardust.  We are golden. 

Lying on my back
In the dark, soft candle-lit space
Sandwiched between two yoga blankets
Held in support by the others lying in the room with me
Guided by a heart-centered healer
I breathed

First into the belly
The second chakra
The place where emotions and relationships and lost, almost forgotten, memories are held

Then second into the heart
Center of love
Center of compassion
Center of light

And then lastly out my mouth
Released
Let go
Returned to the Earth and to Source
To be re-used, transformed, healed

Belly, heart, open mouth
Again and again
Over and over
Through the awkward stage of dry mouth in the beginning breaths
And through anxiety that's telling me it's impossible to breathe this fast
this deep
for this long

But as I relaxed my body
And surrendered to the moment
Surrendered to the breath
Surrendered to the feelings in my body wanting to bubble out
Surrendered to Mama Earth who was rising to meet and support my back
The movement of energy began to flow

First in waves of anger
Long time held
Distant
Ancient anger
Coming out in a yell that had been suppressed for years

Then sadness, sorrow, grief
Rising up from my legs, torso, chest
Emerging from my breath in sobs, wails, tears

And with surprise
Laughter!
Hysterical bouts of giggles, belly laughs, joyful chuckles
Released freely, loudly, openly
As if to remind me
"Healing ain't got to be soooo serious!"

Back to the breath
Belly, heart, mouth
Hearing the person next to me
Holding the rhythm, the beat
While I take a moment to express
Before returning back to the breath
Belly, heart, mouth
Belly, heart, mouth
Belly, heart, mouth

And as the energy moved through my body
Touching on places of pain and joy
Blocks and openness
I came to a resting place in my heart
My tender heart
My deep and passionate feeling heart
The heart I protect
The heart I give from
The heart that holds so much

And in this space of primal, raw, humanness
I realized how hard life can be when you have a tender heart
When you feel all the feels
(Or avoid feeling all the feels)
And how important it is for us
To honor and hold and express
In order to not harden our tender hearts
Or hide them away from this hard
Beautiful, messy, difficult life
We need self care, soul care
Self love, soul love
And permission and sacred space
To go deep
Or just be
Present with our tender hearts
In connected solitude
Community and tribe



My wish to you on this Valentines, tender-hearted ones
On this day of LOVE
Is for you to bathe your amazing heart
With the light from raw, primal, beautiful humanness
I love you to the moon and back
From my tender heart to yours
xo!

*If you are in the NYC/Brooklyn area, check out Breathwork Workshops at maharose.com and with Erin Telford at radiantheartacupuncture.com.  It is an incredible and amazing healing modality.  

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Positive Peer Pressure

It seems that whenever I'm considering a new lifestyle habit or contemplating a new theory or mindset, it shows up everywhere around me, including and especially my inbox.  When I was thinking about going raw vegan to cure my diabetes, resources in the form of books and blogs and others doing the same seemed to fall into my lap.  When I decided to devote time and attention to my finances and healing my relationship with money and self worth (another blog post on it's way), it seemed as if all the gurus I follow were promoting the same thing.  I suppose you could call it what Pam Grout of the book *E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality* calls her Volkswagen Jetta Principle…. because I was putting my attention on those specific topics, they started to appear to me, even though they were already there before I focused on them.  She gives the example in her book (an awesome, easy, entertaining read by the way) that when you are thinking of buying a new Volkswagen Jettta you start to see them EVERYWHERE!   

"What shows up in our lives is a direct reflection of our inner thoughts and emotions."  -Pam Grout

I love this phenomenon and consider it a positive form of peer pressure.  "Oh look at all these people getting into the same stuff I am!  The camaraderie!  The support!"

Now, I'm not a fan of forcing something to fit your life just because "everyone else is doing it".  There is no one diet fits all or one exercise regime that works for everyone.  Not every style of fashion works for all bodies.  Heck, what works for you one week, might not the next, depending on where you are in your energy cycles and the season of the year.  Same goes here, in my opinion.  So what I AM a fan of is taking this inspiration from our peers and our environment and exploring how it might inspire some healthy and exciting change and growth.  Using the information and momentum from the crowd to learn more about ourselves and develop an even more loving and intimate relationship with our inner wisdom and our bodies.  

So, here's what's been coming up for me….. within the last week SEVERAL people… from friends to online bloggers I adore… have talked about morning routines and how they're structuring their rituals.  Here's a typical synopsis of mine:  
*alarm*hit snooze*drift off* second alarm* hit snooze*drift off* third alarm* streeeeeeetch*eyes open* check email*scroll through Facebook*finally get out of bed to find coffee that I drink as I zone out on instagram*breakfast*write in desire map planner….

The minute I open my eyes, I'm diving into other's lives on social media, instead of diving into the inward, deep, soulful places of myself that I just traveled during sleep.  Already, I am getting trapped in the time-suck procrastinating comparison-inducing activities of the inter webs before I even leave my bed.  Don't get me wrong, I love me some Insta action.  But is this really the best way to start my day??

According to my current positive peer pressure, no.  The lovelies I've been reading and talking to have started setting aside one…two…three hours for just themselves before they dive into emails and social media.  This time may be for journaling, meditating, walking, yoga-ing, writing, or just sitting with whatever emotions are coming up that day.  Time for whatever feels important and necessary to start the day in a grounded, more soulful place.  A time for focused action or a time for quiet reflection.

So I am trying this new lifestyle habit on for size to see how it fits me.  I feel I have so much creativity inside that I haven't fully devoted time to ME to let it flow out.  Setting time specifically for that tells the Universe and my muse that I'm serious and I mean business.  Today, I started this new choice.  And LET ME TELL YOU!  It was HARD.  I realized what a habit it is for me to pick up my phone and check out mindlessly while I'm sipping my coffee.  It was almost as if the action of picking up my mug was deeply connected to the scrolling on my phone.  I find it a little sad how dependent I've become on those habits, but I am excited to find out what shifts when I change them.  I shall keep you updated!

My desk transformation:  the one on the right was a gift from my amazing roommates and the place where I shall be spending my morning time writing.

Now over to you: are there topics of conversation that keep coming up in your awareness?  What sorts of changes or positive impact are the peers around you inspiring?  What are your morning rituals like and are they serving you well?  Or maybe do they need a little revamping?